


I Told You I Would Stay

by agreengalaxy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Kylo Ren Redemption, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Rey Palpatine, Reylo - Freeform, Sad Start, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:40:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agreengalaxy/pseuds/agreengalaxy
Summary: "How do you explain to people, to the Resistance, that the only person who was really like you in the whole world was supposed to be your arch-enemy?"A fix-it post-TROS fic in which Rey and Ben get the happy ending they deserved and learn to deal with their pasts together.! SPOILER WARNING FOR TROS !_____A nice happy fix-it fic (with a sad-ish start) to cure my sadness post-TROS and give reylo the time they deserved in the movie :'(Title is from the song "Two Weeks" by Grizzly BearP.S. this is my first fic on here ever lol so sorry if it's not great I just have a lot of feelings lol
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 13
Kudos: 139





	1. Chapter 1

When it happens, at first, Rey doesn't know what she feels.

Really, she can't figure out what it is she should feel.

At first, the whole thing is unbelievable. She’s just woken up from something, somewhere, a place so quiet and peaceful that she almost didn’t want to leave, and now she’s back and Ben Solo is lying in her arms, limp and still. Rey knows, logically, what has happened, but yet, she can’t bring herself to believe it.

Ben Solo cannot be dead. 

She’s cradling his head in her arms, frantically stroking his hair, despite the odd calm she feels inside her. Rey wishes she could hold onto more of him, to hold onto him as tightly as he’d clutched her just a moment ago, but there’s simply too much of Ben and too little of her, so instead, she strokes his face and whispers over and over it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok. She can’t be sure if she’s saying it to herself or Ben, but either way, she can’t make herself stop.

The weirdest thing is that he doesn’t feel dead, not even a little. Rey has surely dealt with her share of deaths over the past few years, and every time, even with all the pain and the grieving that never goes away and the sleepless nights, she’s always felt death with a certain finality that this one is lacking. Normally, when someone dies, the pain rips through her, sharp and distinct, like she herself is being killed. It’s quick, and both she and the victim both know that it’s over before either has had a chance to say a word. 

With Ben, it’s different.

As Rey runs her hand across his face for the millionth time, everything about Ben screams life. His cheeks are flushed still from the fight, and when she rests the back of her cold hand on them, it immediately warms. Ben’s lips, too, remain pink, and when Rey traces her finger over them, they have not yet grown cold. The strangest part, though, is that although his body lies perfectly still in her arms, it almost feels to her as if Ben is still breathing. He’s not, of course, because his chest does not rise nor fall, and no air escapes from his nose, but every time she rests her hand upon his skin, she witnesses the strange sensation once more. It’s not something physical, but rather, a sense of the spirit within him which crackles like electricity under her fingertips. Perhaps this is the reason why she’s having such a hard time accepting it. 

Rey wishes it were like the others. She wishes that his death had shocked her, given her that swift gut punch she’d felt one too many times, given her something excruciating but quick that could have happened to her all at once so she could be done with it. Something short, anything, instead of the terrible burn she felt in her chest that wouldn’t go away and the fire in her lips from where he’d kissed her. Rey almost couldn’t breathe. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. She wanted to scream, wanted to break something, wanted to hurt someone responsible, wanted to die herself, wanted to do anything, anything, to take away the choking sensation wrapped around her throat. But she stayed, glued to Ben, still clinging to the warmth which lingered in him and repeating over and over that same mantra: It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok. 

How do you mourn someone you loved but knew so little about?

There was the perplexing thing: she had known Ben. Every time she and Kylo Ren had fought in the forest, every time he’d offered his hand for the wrong reasons, every time she cowered in fear from him, there was something in his eyes, something inside him that was good and scared and who desperately needed help. That was Ben. The late-night talks had been Ben, too. All the times she had woken up late at night quivering with fear and horrible, horrible nightmares, it was Ben there when she woke up, not Kylo, always there to ask her what the dream had been about and calming her fears, never reminding her of the terrible reality they shared. In those moments, Rey knew. She knew Ben Solo, and Ben knew her too. 

He was the only one. Now she had no one.   
Rey was alone.

Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone.

He had been her best friend. It seemed like an odd thing to think, given the fact that they had fought each other mere hours ago, but even then, she realized in retrospect, it was her who ignited her lightsaber first. It was her who made them fight all those times, and in her memory, as warped as it may be after everything that had transpired, Ben had always looked so tired, so exhausted, so unwilling to light that lightsaber to fight her once more. She realized now they’d given up even truly trying to kill each other long ago. Why was she always on defense when he had approached her? Hadn’t she realize he never came armed? She shouldn’t have made him keep fighting. She should have had more time with Ben. It was her fault.

My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault, my fault.

Ben had known her more than anyone else in the world. Sure, Finn and Poe had experienced things with her, and they spent many night watches and flights chatting about everything going on with the Resistance, but she always censored herself when the conversation inevitably turned to Kylo. What was she supposed to say when they called him a monster? When they talked about the terrible things he’d done? Defend him? Hadn’t Rey herself called him that what felt like forever ago now? How could she explain the other person she knew who was trapped inside of him, the person she was in love with? How do you admit that to a group of people sworn to destroy him? 

Eventually, the topic became avoided. It was Finn, Rey thinks, who noticed first the way she suddenly clammed up and made excuses to retire early. Poe was passionate as always about the fight, but eventually, he too began to steer away from the topic. Rey figured Finn had said something to him. Finn was a good friend. They were similar in a lot of ways, and Finn knew when to give her space and when to challenge her and when she needed his support. Finn was similar to her, but never in the way Kylo was. Finn knew there was something there, between Rey and Ben, but he didn’t understand what.

How do you explain to people, to the Resistance, that the only person who was really like you in the whole world was supposed to be your arch-enemy?

Rey could try to explain the difference she knew was there between Ben and Kylo. She could try to explain how today, once Ben turned, he looked exactly the same and yet completely different. She could try to explain the light in his eyes, and the way his walk was different, and how his posture was looser, freer, just like everything about him. Rey could try to describe the way his smile looked right before … 

She could try to tell them that for the first time ever, Ben Solo had been happy. He had been so happy. She had felt it. Ben had held her, and he felt bliss.

Rey’s heart seared.

They wouldn’t understand. Leia would have if she had still been alive. But she was gone, too. Everyone was gone.

Alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone.

There was one thing above all that continued to haunt Rey. A memory. A different memory than the one which used to torment her like this. Something fresh. Something excruciating. 

A memory of Ben, standing in the burning throne room, his hand extended to her. The way she’d backed up in fear as she watched Ben and Kylo wrestle within one body. A fear of how badly she wanted to accept for Ben, despite the evil idea he’d proposed. A fear that he wouldn’t be able to come back from this.

The way she saw tears in Ben’s eyes as she did so. The way she knew she was making him hurt worse than he already did every second of the day. The way she was making Ben so terrified of himself and what was coming that his voice wavered as he’d begged one last time:

“Please,”

Suddenly, violently, everything which had been building inside Rey exploded into breathless, uneven sobs. She couldn’t catch her breath. She slumped over, exhausted from the extreme pain which swept over her body and buried her face in Ben’s hair. Rey was choking, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She didn’t want to do anything about it. With one hand, she weakly pounded the ground as she raggedly gasped for air, her eyes squeezed shut as she wailed. Rey didn’t even notice the way the ground had splintered beneath where her fist landed, yielding a deep crack that spread over the floor of the room. It felt like someone was screaming directly into her ear, yet she knew it wasn’t her own voice. It was so loud, so terrible, so painful, like she was being torn in half from the inside. It burned, like half of her heart was melting away in a fire. Rey wanted it to stop, to end, to let her die.

“Ben!” She screeched with each terrible gasp of breath. 

After a few minutes, the exhaustion became so much that she simply collapsed onto his chest, with one of Ben’s limp arms wrapped around her from the motion. That same electricity still crackled within his chest. She wanted it to be done with for the both of them.

After a long time, Rey became so quiet that she too might have almost been dead. Once more, she began whispering to Ben, so softly this time that she couldn’t even be sure she was speaking the words out loud. She couldn’t stop herself from saying them, though, even if she wanted to.

“Come back to me, Ben. Come back to me, please, please, come back.” 

Every now and then, she would pause for a beat, as if listening for a response, but when none came, she continued, each time increasingly desperate for a reply she knew would never come.

“Ben,” She whispered. “Ben. Come back. Come be with me. We can stay together, have a good life.” Fresh tears began to stream down her cheeks once more, and it occurred to her that she hadn’t realized she’d ever stopped crying in the first place.

“I’m so sorry,” She choked out. “I wish we had another shot. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it would happen like this. I want you back.” 

“Come back to me, Ben. Come back and stay with me. Please, please. Come back and be with me just a little longer. Be with me just a little while longer, Ben. Please, come back to me. Please, come be with me.” Rey was louder now, more desperate to be heard by someone, anyone. She was so alone.

“Ben, be with me, be with me, be with me, be with me, be with me.”

Ben’s chest crackled beneath Rey’s ear.

“Be with me, Ben. One more time. Stay with me, please. I don’t want you to go. I don’t know what to do without you here. Ben, please.” 

Rey’s cries were so loud she barely even heard the breath that passed through Ben’s lips.


	2. Chapter 2

First, a quiet, peaceful breath, so soft she can’t be sure it wasn’t just the wind passing by her ear. Rey stays buried beneath Ben’s arm, tears still streaming as she continues to beg him to stay a little while longer with her.

Then, a louder, sputtering cough, loud enough to make Rey jump. For a moment, she doesn’t turn her head, terrified that it was just something she imagined, and all she’ll see is Ben’s strange, lifeless face staring at the ceiling. She can’t experience any more pain than she’s already felt. It will kill her.

“Rey?”

Ben’s voice is hoarse and tentative as he calls out to the girl lying deadly still within his arms. She stiffens, and instinctively, Ben wraps his arms around her, pulling Rey to face him. Rey’s eyes are so filled with tears she can’t be sure what she’s seeing is real.

Worried, Ben places his hand on her face, eyes searching for something he might be missing that’s causing Rey to shake so violently and feel so cold. He pulls her closer to him, determined to keep her safe.

“Are you okay? Is everything alright?” His words are just as desperate as her’s had been mere moments before. 

Everything in Rey feels ignited at once. Ben is alive.

She scrambles to adjust her posture, wiping the tears from her eyes so she can clearly see the boy who was dead, who was gone from her, alive once more. Ben smiles in relief, pressing his forehead to Rey’s and letting out a breathy laugh. Rey smiles too, but presses her hand to his face, still in disbelief. 

“You’re…” She begins, but finds herself welling up once more. She happily lets her tears run down her already puffy face, never taking her eyes off of Ben. 

Ben gently wipes the tears from her face before he leans in and presses his lips to her’s in a way that’s so soft, yet so certain at the same time. Rey is so overwhelmed and shocked that she’s not sure what to do besides just kiss him back and feel the electricity which now flows through her body, too. It occurs to her that maybe, for once in her life, all she needs to do is be happy. And she is. She’s warm and she keeps interrupting the kiss because she’s grinning, and so is Ben, and he’s alive, and they’re together. 

This is happiness.

When Ben finally pulls away, still grinning, he’s holding onto her in the same desperate way Rey had clutched him when she thought he was gone. Ben tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and Rey’s cheeks heat up more than they already were. He looks at the crack in the floor, but doesn’t mention it.

“I wanted to do that myself this time,” Ben murmurs shyly, running his thumb over Rey’s lips. “Before, when I thought that was it for me, I was just glad to have kissed you at all. But now that I’m back… “ Ben allowed his voice to trail off and laughed. “I need you to know how I feel. At least just this once.” 

“You’re alive?” Rey finally manages, breathless, allowing herself to believe this was all really happening. 

Ben nods quickly, still caressing Rey’s face. He hasn’t let go of her since he came back. “I’m here,” He promises, searching her expression. “I’m alive.” 

Rey’s whole body is tingling, like how she felt when she shocked the ship earlier, but this time, she feels it’s something good, something light rather than dark.

“You’re alive,” Rey cries, throwing her arms around Ben’s neck. It still comes out questioning, but she decides to embrace being with him, even if she can’t understand it. Ben is here with her. She feels alive herself.

As Ben clutches her to his chest, she notices the way he tenses up at her words. Rey pulls back, and searches his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” She whispers, afraid to ask the question. Ben is still holding onto her just as tight, but she can sense something uneasy about him. For a moment, she begins to worry, wondering if in those minutes something about Ben had reverted back, but he speaks before her thoughts can progress. Ben shakes his head.

“Not what you’re thinking. I promise you, that’s not going to happen, alright?” His words are soft and reassuring, but Rey only softens when Ben lightly kisses her forehead. When he straightens, he pauses to be sure she feels calm before he continues.

Ben furrows his eyebrows, his lips slightly pursed in thought.  
“It’s just… I don’t know how you did it.” Ben says, choosing his words carefully. “Brought me back.” He shakes his head like he’s clearing his mind.

“It just doesn’t make sense how. When I healed you, I could feel the life left inside of you, but I knew it would take everything in me to restore it.” He pauses, looking Rey in the eyes.

“And that was okay,” He continues. “So I did it, and then I was … I was somewhere empty, but so full at the same time. I could hear voices all around me, but yours was the loudest.” Ben lets his hand drop from Rey’s face. “I’ve never heard you sound so… broken. Not even when I told you those things about your parents.” His voice has dropped to a whisper now. “Not even when I wanted you to一”

“Ben,” Rey cuts him off, shaking her head. “It’s alright. You don’t need to feel bad for that now.” She takes his hand, and feels the electricity passing between them once more. 

Ben sighs heavily. “That doesn’t change the fact that I do.” A beat passes between them before he continues. “It still just doesn’t make sense, that we can both be here, alive, somehow. I barely had enough in me to bring you back.”

In that moment, it all makes sense to Rey. The way she had felt Leia slipping away earlier, but her presence still lingered until a few moments ago. The way Ben and her could both be together without either of them giving their life. The way Leia knew she needed to be the sacrifice to bring peace to the people dearest to her heart. 

Rey lets her eyes drop from Ben’s face, and when she raises them back, there’s two tears streaking silently down his face. Ben knows, too. Rey climbs into his lap to be able to hold him better as Ben silently grieves for his mother. She strokes his hair while he shakes from quiet sobs.

“I didn’t deserve that,” He says in a whisper. “She shouldn’t have had to die for me.”

Rey shushes him, and Ben rests his face against her shoulder. 

“She loved you more than anything in the world, Ben.” Rey tells him softly. “She was always waiting for you to turn one day. She wanted you to be happy.”

Neither of them move for what feels like an eternity, sitting in silence apart from Rey’s shushes and Ben’s shakey breathes. There’s so much to be said between them, but, at the same time, there’s nothing that needs to be voiced at all. They sit there, resting in one another’s arms, sad and peaceful and happy and angry all at the same time. Yet inside, both know there’s still one question which needs to be answered:

What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all sm for the love on chapter 1!! It's literally so crazy to me that so many people have read my work and I'm glad y'all have been liking it! Hope it helps some of you to get over that ending like I'm trying to lol ♡


	3. Chapter 3

When Rey finally musters up the courage to call Finn for a ride back on the Falcon, he’s confused. Over the years, a lot of their relationship had been no-questions-asked. Both knew the other would open up once they were ready to share something, and so the other never pushed. Still, Finn can’t stop himself from wondering about the call. Maybe Rey’s ship had simply been destroyed in the chaos of the fight earlier. But hadn’t he noticed the way she acted towards Kylo Ren earlier? Hadn’t he been the one to first realize Rey always acted strange when his name came up in conversation? He suspects there’s something more to this call, but, as always, doesn’t push Rey on it. 

The real reason Rey calls him, of course, is Ben. 

While it pains her to leave behind Luke’s X-Wing, something with so much history, there’s no way the both of them can fit into it together, and bringing Ben with her is far more important than a ship, anyhow. When Rey calls Finn, Ben tries to protest, claiming he can always figure out some other way there, but Rey rolls her eyes.

“You mean to tell me you seriously expect me to leave you here? On Exegol? By yourself?” She scoffs, offended. “Without a ship? Are you out of your mind?”

“I managed to get here before,” He counters.

“You had a ship before,” Rey points out, arms folded. “Where even is it now?” 

Ben looks around the wasteland surrounding them and then sighs in defeat. 

“Honestly?” He begins tentatively. “I have no idea. I was in kind of a rush to get here, you know. And then I ran a pretty long way after that.”

Rey notices Ben blush slightly with his admittance, but doesn’t tease him about it. 

“Either way, you’re coming with me on the Falcon. It’s big enough for all of us, and, besides, I don’t really think either of us are in great condition for flying.” 

She senses Ben tense before she can even finish her thoughts. It occurs to her how nervous he really must be. Rey places her hand on Ben’s arm to reassure him. 

“It’s going to be alright, Ben.” She raises herself slightly up onto her toes so that she can better look him in the eye. “I’m not going to let anyone bother you. Once I explain everything to them they’ll understand. They’ll listen.”

Rey’s promises are so sincere that it’s hard to doubt them, but Ben is still shaky on the prospect of walking directly into the Resistance.

“It’s kind of hard to believe that when the reason you guys even organized in the first place was to ‘resist’ me. You know they aren’t going to be happy about this, about me walking directly into their celebration of my defeat. It’s…” He pauses for a moment, and Rey thinks she sees him shudder. “They’re probably going to try and kill me. And I really can’t blame them.”

It crushes Rey every time she sees the weight of the remorse Ben feels for his actions. She wishes he could see things the way she does一 the way that Ben and Kylo Ren were always two radically different people, with Ben always searching for a way out. In a strange way, though, it gives her hope. If the Resistance would only listen to them, if they could hear the guilt he radiates when he talks to Rey, then how couldn’t they forgive Ben? 

“They won’t kill you.” Rey reaffirms to him. “I won’t let them. They will listen一 it might take a while to convince some of them, but they’re good people. I know they’re willing to forgive.” 

When Ben stays silent, Rey desperately tries to think of a way to lighten the mood.

“And besides,” She picks up once more. “If they want to kill you, well, then, they’re going to have to go through me first.” Rey smiles, making her eyes crinkle, clearly pleased with herself and resolved on the matter.

Ben sighs heavily once more.

“You really think they wouldn’t hurt you if they thought I was a threat?” He pauses, seeing Rey’s smile fall. “If they thought it was the right thing, the necessary thing to do, I’m sure they would. If you were in their shoes, I don’t think you would stop until you were certain the galaxy was free, either.”

They both stare at each other in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing what to say beyond that. Rey is trying to work up an argument against what he’s said, but she’s so horrified at the idea of the Resistance killing Ben and shocked that he might be right that she doesn’t know what to say. Then, finally, she does.

“I really don’t think any of them have it in them to kill Leia’s son. Not right now.” 

It’s a cheap move invoking Leia’s name, and Rey knows it, but she also knows that what she’s saying is true. Once the initial shock wears off, none of them would want to hurt the last remnant of the General they have. Ben doesn’t argue after that, but even if he was planning on it, it’s only a few moments before the roar of a ship comes passing overhead, and the Falcon lands in front of them.

Rey steps forward, eager to reunite with Finn, but Ben stays glued in place, unmoving. Rey walks over to him and takes his hand. When he looks down at her, Rey can see just how nervous Ben really is.

“It’s okay,” She says, giving him a small smile. “I promise.” 

Slowly, they approach the Falcon together, hand in hand. Ben drops back slightly when he sees the ramp lowering and Finn’s figure waiting inside the door. 

“I don’t know…” He begins to tell Rey.

If there’s one person who deserves to hate Ben, it’s certainly Finn. Thoughts flood through Ben’s head of the past times they’ve met.

How he’d called him a traitor. How he’d burned him in the woods. How much he had despised him. 

How one of the things he’d hated most was that Finn had been able to walk away from the First Order when Ben didn’t have the strength to himself. 

How jealous that had made him. 

Rey continues to pull Ben along with her, whispering to him that Finn won’t hurt them. Ben isn’t at all sure that’s true, but he walks forward anyways so Rey won’t have to keep dragging them along. 

As the two of them come into view, it’s easy to see how wide Finn’s eyes have become. Finn had always guessed at the nature of Rey and Ben’s relationship, but now that he could see them together, not as adversaries for once, but as companions, he felt even more confused than before. As Rey takes a few cautious steps up the ramp, leaving Ben behind her, Finn’s hand moves to hover over his blaster holder as a precaution.

“Finn,” Rey says, her voice calm, and then quickly shakes her head ‘no’. “It’s alright.” 

Finn still doesn’t move, and Ben is staring at him, which is making him deeply uncomfortable, so he keeps shifting his gaze between the pair as if he’s looking for some obvious explanation of what exactly is going on to appear out of thin air.

“It’s okay,” Rey reiterates for him, her hands cautioning. “Ben is a friend now. You don’t need to worry about him.” 

A friend? Finn is bewildered. He stays frozen for a few moments longer but finally lets his hand drop to his side, and watches as “Ben” steps up the ramp to meet Rey. Finn glances at them one more time before he finally decides: what the hell? And moves so that they can board the ship.

“Alright then,” He says, sounding entirely unconvinced. “Party of two then… I guess.” 

Rey breaks into a wide grin and runs to close the remaining distance between them, pulling him into a tight hug. Finn, even as confused and concerned as he is, has to admit how happy he is to see her okay after everything that's just transpired. 

“I have so much to tell you about,” She tells him, and Finn nods in agreement. Then, in a much softer voice meant only for him, Rey adds, “I knew you would understand. Thank you.” 

Finn really doesn’t understand it at all, but Rey seems so happy that he can’t help being happy for her too, and so, warily, he watches as Ben hesitantly boards his father’s ship.

For the first time in what seems like forever, Ben Solo is home.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey and Finn spend the first part of the journey in the cockpit, filling each other in on all they’ve missed. Ben is somewhere else, wandering the Falcon by himself. Finn, at Rey’s urging, had attempted to make small talk with him when they first boarded, but it was obvious Ben’s mind was elsewhere. It was Finn who suggested they give Ben space, and while Rey knows allowing Ben time to process everything on his own made sense, she was wary of being apart from him for too long. 

She can’t get too caught up in worrying about him, though, because Finn is intently asking Rey for the play-by-play of everything that transpired between their separation on Kef Bir and her call to him. Rey remembers most of the past view hours extremely vividly, but at the same time, she feels like she can’t find the words to match everything she remembers in her mind. She’s not quite sure how to explain it. When she tries to tell Finn about how she saw Luke, for example, she can almost still hear their conversation in her head, but at the same time, what exactly they said to one another escapes her. Secretly, she wonders if her… death, if you can even call it that, wiped her recent memories and left just a vague remembrance of things, like how 3-PO was after R2 restored his memory, but she doesn’t say this out loud. 

Luckily, Finn isn’t too interested in any of the little things. He wants to cover everything, but, at the same time, it’s incredibly obvious that what he’s really interested in is Rey’s apparent family. He won’t come right out and say it, but she knows that’s what he’s looking for, so she tries to fill him in with as much as she’s ready to talk about.

“Your parents,” Finn prompts her during their discussion. “Do you remember them now?”

Rey shakes her head.

“Not much, just… new bits that I hadn’t been able to remember before. Nothing substantial, really,” She sighs. “And I don’t think it was me that was able to remember them.”

Finn is perplexed by this answer.

“I don’t know that I’m following you.” 

Rey turns over her memories in her mind, trying to figure out a way she can explain it so that Finn understands.

“It’s sort of like… well, you have to remember I was a child then. Sometimes, you know how you’ll see something or smell something that takes you back to a moment in time you experienced as a kid?”

Finn nods, wrinkling his nose.

“Chlorine always makes me think of when I was in stormtrooper training. That room always smelt so strongly clean, like they’d bleached the whole place right before we’d come in.”

“It’s like that,” Rey says, enthusiastic that her example had worked. “I’ve always had the memory, but I just didn’t realize I did, in a way. But once Ben found it in my mind, and told me what I was looking for, it jogged my memory so that I could see it again.” She pauses for a moment, before saying, “I just wished he’d told me more.”

“Who, Ben?” Finn clarifies. Rey shakes her head.

“No,” She says, hesitating to name her grandfather. “Palpatine. He was the only person in the whole world who knew my parents, and all he let me know was that my father was his son and that they saved me from him.” Rey lets out a short, self-pitying laugh. “I guess I should be grateful to know even that much, right? Really covers the basics. But I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I don’t even know their names. Everything I know about them is related to him. It’s all tainted.”

Rey falls silent, staring at the floor as she wonders to herself who her parents might have been outside of that one heroic act. Finn grabs her hand.

“Hey,” He says. “You’re not alone. I get it. I wonder about my parents, too.”

“Oh,” Rey realizes, her face turning red. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I know I shouldn’t be complaining to you, of all people. I’mー” 

“No, don’t apologize!” Finn says, shaking his head. “I’m just trying to say that I’m here for you. And if you ever need to vent to anyone about it, you know you can come to me.” 

Rey pulls Finn into a hug once more, because, really, there’s no one better than him in the whole world. 

“And hey, maybe we can convince mask-man to pick through both of our brains at some point.”

Ben. Suddenly Rey’s worries are refocused on him, and she wonders if he’s alright hanging out on the ship alone. She stands up.

“Speaking of… I think I’d better go check on Ben. Make sure he’s handling all this alright.” 

“Don’t think I don’t notice you avoiding telling me what’s going on with you two! I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”

She grins mischievously.

“Maybe I am. But really, I should go check on him.”

Finn nods in agreement. As Rey approaches the door to the rest of the Falcon, her hand on the frame, she pauses and turns back around.

“Finn,” She asks, remembering. “What was it that you needed to tell me earlier?”

Finn’s brows knit together as he ponders how exactly he should go about telling Rey. Finally, he decides to just say it.

“I think I can feel the force too, Rey.”

She looks at him for a long moment, a smile spreading across her face before she finally knows what to say. She echoes the words Master Luke told her in a lesson what feels like a long time ago.

“The force is all around us. It’s always connected us.”

Finn smiles back, and they nod at one another before Rey leaves the room.

\----

When Rey finds Ben, he’s sitting at the holochess board, watching the pieces dance idly on their squares. She slides her arm around his neck, worried.

“I was never great at this game,” Ben says. “But I played a lot growing up. Chewie used to beat me every time, but, to be fair, he was really good at it.” He turns to face Rey. “Did he ever make you play?”

“Finn and Poe warned me against it. They say he cheats.”

Ben lets out a laugh. It’s free and happy, and Rey cherishes the sound.

“No, that’s not it. He’s just got 200 years on everyone else in the room. My dad used to say that same thing, that Chewie cheated, but I think he was just too stubborn to admit he wasn’t the best at something.” 

“Hmm,” Rey says with a smirk. “Stubborn and overly-confident. Sounds like someone else I know.”

Ben grabs Rey’s hand, pulling her to sit in the round booth with him.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Ben argues. “I actually am the best at everything.”

“Really?” Rey counters, and Ben grins at the spark that appears in her eye. “Because, according to my memory, you’ve had your fair share of near-misses and awkward moments.”

“Impossible.” Ben declares. “I remember none of this. Name one time things haven’t worked out for me.”

“I can name three off the top of my head!” Rey exclaims, ticking off the fingers on her hand. “Let’s see. Shall I start with your, what was it, three failed proposals? Certainly not your best moments.”

“On the contrary,” Ben scoffs. “Clearly that all worked out in the end, because I got you after all of it. So those weren’t failures.”

“At the time they were! And you can’t act like they seriously helped your case.”

“Oh, I absolutely can!” Ben leans in, eyes narrowed, so that their foreheads are almost touching. “My persistence was so admirable that it further endeared you to me. All part of my master plan, obviously.”

Rey’s breath hitches before she can continue.

“Obviously.” She grumbles, ironically. “Those totally still count.” 

“No, they don’t.” Ben’s smirk is so proud that she wants to wipe it right off his face, but they aren’t enemies anymore, and you don’t do that to your friends. Rey doesn’t know for certain how exactly you’re supposed to act with someone you’re almost definitely more-than-friends with, but she’s pretty certain punching them is taboo.

So instead, Rey settles on kicking him under the table.

“Ow!” Ben says, but it’s obvious he’s trying not to laugh so he must not be too offended by the gesture. “Still don’t count, sweetheart, sorry. You better pick it up. You’re currently oh-to-three in your case against my greatness.”

“Fine,” Rey says, pausing to think of another example and simultaneously not trying to turn bright red at being called ‘sweetheart’. “Alright, what about the fight on Crait? I remember you having, like, an atomic meltdown, not to mention, you also lost in what should have been an incredibly easy battle.”

Ben huffs and clenches his jaw, and she knows she’s got him on that one.

“Alright, I suppose I can concede that one. Maybe not my best moment.”

“Definitely not your best moment,” Rey says under her breath, laughing. Ben nudges her shoulder.

“Watch it,” He cautions her, mock offended, but he’s grinning, so obviously he’s not too mad. “You’re still only one-for-three. Not a winning percentage, Rey.”

Rey is concentrating, reflecting on all their shared memories, trying to find a good example, when Finn walks in. Instinctively, Rey wriggles back a little to increase the space between her and Ben. She doesn’t know why she should be embarrassed, but she is. The funny thing is, she’s not embarrassed of Ben, rather, the way they had been sitting, faces almost touching. Her cheeks heat up.

“Erm,” Finn begins, still wildly uncomfortable with the relationship that’s apparently been brewing for the past few years. “I just wanted to let you guys know that we’re jumping to lightspeed in a minute. And… uh, Ben一 I was wondering if you wanted to be my co-pilot for the landing.” 

No one says anything for a moment, between Rey beaming at Finn and Ben’s confusion.   
“Just because it's, y’know, kind of your ship, really. I would let you pilot but I don’t know that... you... flying the Falcon directly into the Resistance base would go over great.” Finn rushes to clarify. 

Ben quickly nods, giving Finn a small smile. 

“Good with me,” He says, glancing at Rey who offers him a thumbs up before he turns back to Finn. “Thank you.”

“Cool.” Finn says, awkwardly drumming on his thighs for a minute before he turns on his heel and leaves.

“Okay,” Ben says, standing up and offering Rey his hand after a moment. She takes it, and he pulls her up as well. “You’ve still got one chance left to slander my reputation. Better make it a good one,” He teases.

“This one is good,” She promises, and he nods, ready to hear it. “Perhaps your most foolish, miscalculated moment yet.” She warns once more.

“Just get on with it,” Ben groans. “At this rate, Finn is going to jump to lightspeed when we’re not ready because he’ll be sick of waiting on us.”

“Your most foolish moment of all time was sacrificing yourself to try and bring me back.” She says, definitively, her arms crossed over her chest. Rey’s slightly nervous about how Ben will react, but he just smiles to himself, and lifts a hand to stroke her face.

“Nope,” He finally decides after a moment. “That definitely doesn’t count. That might just be the best thing I’ll ever do in my life.”

“Seriously?!” Rey argues. “You can’t deny that wasn’t risky. Insanely so. You putting your life on the line for me was crazy. You had no way to know you’d come back!”

Ben shrugs, still grinning.

“Sure, but it all worked out. I’m just that good.” 

“You’re impossible. Do you have any idea of how bad of a bet that was? I wasn’t even the one who brought you back! The amount of cosmic factors that had to align to bring you back to me一 You一 I seriously cannot believe you think that wasn’t a dumb move!” Rey sputters.

Ben finally shuts her up by kissing her forehead. 

“Sorry,” He whispers against her hair. “But this one’s non-negotiable. That’s the best bet I ever could have taken.”

He stops for a minute before he tells her, “I can feel his presence here, you know. My dad. He’s still with us.” 

Rey smiles and pulls away from his chest before she says, “I know. I can feel it, too.”

Ben runs his fingers over her cheekbone once more, before he turns and heads for the door. 

“Oh, and, by the way,” He adds, turning back to Rey, and gesturing in a way that reminds her of Han. “I’ve never lost a bet. My awesomeness stands.”

With that, he enters the cockpit, leaving Rey dumbfounded once again.

When she finally composes herself and trails in behind him, Ben is already in the co-pilot’s seat, refamiliarizing himself with controls with Finn’s guidance. 

She has to admit, watching her boys together in the Falcon, that even if Ben’s bet was incredibly stupid and risky, it had all worked out pretty great, after all. 

As the three of them jump to lightspeed, Rey can’t quiet the voice in the back of her head that wants to tell him she loves him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay between chapters!! this one is a little longer than all the others so I hope it makes up for the wait! (plus we're finally getting to all the good stuff lol) thanks again for all of your continued support!!


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